


Withering Soul

by Kay_fiction



Series: A Heartbeat Between Life and Death [3]
Category: Death Stranding (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Beaches, Dreams, Emotional pain, Gen, Visions, heartsman, if you squint a little - Freeform, passive suicidal thoughts, sam/heartman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:48:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22921276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kay_fiction/pseuds/Kay_fiction
Summary: Heartman is still having those visits to a Beach where the waters are tumultuous, wading in after his long-dead wife's soul.Each visit wears away a little more of Heartman's soul, he promised he would move on with them but...Sam calls him right after he returns from this particularly emotional Beach visit. How does he always know when Heartman needs to hear friendly voice?
Relationships: Sam Porter Bridges & Heartman
Series: A Heartbeat Between Life and Death [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1647367
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27





	Withering Soul

_Shhhh_ ……

 _Sleep_ ….

Heartman felt his feet washed over with the bone-achingly cold ocean water. Through the haze he could see her outline.

“Alianne… wait..” His voice was faint, as if he couldn’t catch his breath. The water was to his knees.

_Sleep, my darling. It’s just a dream._

“Wait..! Please!”

**Administering shock.**

Heartman gasped as he came to. He felt so heavy, tears burned his eyes and cheeks. Ever since these … visions? Dreams, Beaches, whatever, began, the man found it harder and harder not to resent the cycles.

For the first time in 10 years, the pain of it crept in. It was nearly physical how much it hurt him to be within reach of her again only to be jerked back from the Beach and awaken alone and lonely.

In those moments, he wept and wished he dared just… remove the AED and let his heart stop. Forever.

And as now, he curled in on himself in his specialized chair and hugged himself around the AED strapped to his chest and wept bitterly for the circumstances thrust upon him by the voidouts, BTs, and his own obsession.

Sometimes, someone back in Capital Knot would try to make contact. He almost never answered the calls, but he would reply to emails, sometimes. He only answered a call if it was Sam, anymore.

Somehow, he understood. Sam never asked, and he never told him to stop his foolish mission. Self-destruction by three minute intervals.

His Codec rang minutes after he’d come back. It was Sam. Like he knew, somehow, he always knew.

Heartman cleared his throat before answering. “Hello, Sam.”

“Heartman? You okay?”

Seconds of silence, Heartman drew in a breath. “Of course. I’ve been a bit tired lately. On the road, as usual?”

“Nah, actually I was..” Sam sighed, “You remember what he talked about a while ago? About bringing Lou to your lab sometimes?”

A small spark, but the thought of little Lou and Sam seemed to revive him a little more. “Yes, indeed I do. How is little Lou?”

“She’s doing alright. Curious of everything and learning ferociously fast. Deadman thinks the only reason she hasn’t started talking yet is because her vocal cords aren’t developed enough yet. We’re all certain she fully understands anything we say.”

“My, that is fascinating!” Heartman was on his feet again, wiping away the evidence of his tears and opening a window in his workstation screen. “Perhaps we can teach her another language? I’d bet she’d learn it as easily as English.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Sam was quiet, but Heartman could hear Lou laughing in the background. Sam gave a soft chuckle, and Heartman smiled wide, affection bubbling in his chest as it often did with them.

“I don’t suppose you have a day in mind to come here?”

“Yeah, I was thinking in just a few days, if you’ll have time to prepare, or whatever? I’ll make a trek up there with some supplies and then we’ll have Fragile bring Lou.”

“It won’t take me long at all, Sam. I’ve plenty of time, as you know, to make all preparations for her to stay.” Heartman cleared his throat, about to ask another question, but it caught in this throat. Nerves, on such a simple thing. “I don’t suppose you’ll stay here often as well? I have room for you, too.”

“Sure,” Sam responded, more quickly than he’d expected. “Between orders, I’ll want to spend time with Lou, so… And the distro centers and Knot cities are so … crowded.”

“I understand completely, Sam. I would happily have you stay here.” Heartman was typing up some plans, things to fabricate, ideas to ask later. “You are always welcome at my lab, you know. Anytime, with or without a reason.”

**Three minutes until cardiac arrest.**

Sam cleared his throat, a moment of embarrassment, Heartman smiled shyly to himself. Lou cackled a delighted sound. “Thank you, Heartman. I’ll… I’ll talk to you later.”

“Yes, and thank you, too. Goodbye for now.”

The signal dropped, and silence stretched. The sounds of Heartman’s life support monitoring system seemed loud. Two minutes. He sighed, and felt a weight of dread and sadness drop onto him again. His chest ached.

**One minute.**

Heartman returned to chair. 30 seconds. He clicked through some windows rapidly. Then, a picture on his display, a candid shot taken by Lockne and sent to him.

Sam smiling, unknowing he had a witness, and holding Lou, who held onto each of Sam’s index fingers.

**5  
** **4  
** **3  
** **2  
** **1**

Flatline.

_Shhhhh….._

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and constructive criticism is always appreciated.
> 
> Come find more stuff on my tumblr @ heartshapedstrand.tumblr.com


End file.
